Nothing Stays the Same

Transformation and Change Medicine

I love how nature reminds me that change and transformation are constant, and there is nothing to fear. When I want to hold tight to a beautiful moment, feeling, or landscape, it is taken away or shifted in a relatively short amount of time. The shifts that go from complete bliss to extreme fear or negativity, set my ego on its head. In the past, I would use that negativity as validation for old beliefs that “life sucks and I am just here to lay victim to outside circumstances”. But, in the last 24 hours I discovered - much to my surprise, that I can stay connected to something deep within and not go down that old rabbit hole of despair.

Today, I had the honor of working with a beautiful client at the ocean for a healing ritual. Afterward, I decided to go for a swim. The ocean was a pleasant 70 degrees so I walked to another cove where I have felt safe swimming for a decade. On my way to the cove, I watched in awe as a healthy osprey flew past me with a giant fish in its talons. The fish was parallel with its body, not its wings, which I had not seen before. I stared in joyful disbelief.

Reaching the cove feeling excited and happy, I swam out past the breakers to a space where I could see the sandy bottom. The water was clear and blue like a translucent crystal. There, I watched two leopard sharks swim below me, they seemed to be playing. I was smiling enjoying the moment when a man swam abruptly at me stopping about 12 inches from my face. Loudly he asks, “Are you a mermaid? What color is your bathing suit?” Startled, I fawned and replied, “Its green.” He proceeded to reach toward me, trying to grab my bathing suit. I say, “Hey! Back off” and swim away on the verge of panic. He turned and erratically swam to a mountain of rocks and began climbing. My body was tense and uneasy as I watched him wondering if he was on drugs. I noticed feeling “unsafe” in my happy place. Ten years and nothing like this has happened before. My reliance on certainty for security went right out the window. Not wanting to end my swim on that note, I stayed in a few more minutes and asked Grandmother Ocean to remove that scary feeling from my body. Thankfully she helped transmute most of it.

On the drive home, I remembered my hike among the trees just 24 hours earlier. I was ecstatic to be under the canopy’s of live oaks and native brush. While engaging in my forest ritual of gratitude I asked for balance, presence, and protection. To my surprise, I specifically asked to have any fears removed that are holding me back in my life.

Within 15 minutes on the trail, I saw three giant tarantulas. I had to literally wait for them to move aside so I didn’t step on them. I am not a fan of spiders that can double as small furry animals, and I felt super uncomfortable. So, we engaged in a one-sided conversation and explained how I didn’t want to hurt them and I didn’t want them to touch me in anyway. I asked “How can we coexist in harmony?” Nature responded by bringing me 10 tarantulas to meet on my short two mile hike.

But, by the time I met tarantula number seven, I didn’t feel afraid anymore. The fear and discomfort felt prior had transformed into wonder and giggles. Number nine was almost hit by an aggressive mountain biker, but jumped away from the front tire in the nick of time. The furry spider pushed its rear abdomen up in th

e air in an act of reactive defense. I smiled. I could relate.

By the time I reached the most beautiful canopy of trees at the end of my hike, I felt FREE and PEACEFUL. I had made it to the end without a scratch, nor did I turn around and go home. The ego and triggers inside that overprotect and over respond, were overridden and disrupted.

I am eternally grateful to you, Nature, for your support and reflection of my growth. Thanks for providing a classroom to learn how to flow with unexpected changes, and create new grooves of internal security in my psyche. Thank you for giving me the somatic experience of moving through that which is not aligned with my expectations, and the ability to find my center through it all. Thank you for a lesson in recovery and renewal with love and beauty.